It's me! The girl who isn't like every other girl!

Firstly, you absolutely must read this: It's Me! Every girl ever.

Hi there! I saw you looking at me from the other side of the bar. I love your shirt. What made me come over here? You're the hottest guy I've seen all night, and I'm not the type to sit around batting my eyelashes and wait for you to approach me. Awww, I'm glad you're flattered. Your blushing makes you even sexier, did you know that?

It's so refreshing that you know how to maintain eye contact. And even though I'm wearing this tight lowcut v-neck tee! What a sweetheart you are. Where are my friends? They're over in that booth. Yeah, we work together. Who are your friends? Don't worry, I'm only being friendly to make a good impression. If I wanted to flirt with them I wouldn't have come over to talk to you. I'm going to make them laugh a bit. They approve! I can see it by the way you guys look at each other.

It's sweet of you to buy me a drink, I didn't expect you to. Are you up for a tequila shot? If you aren't I'm going to call you a pussy, but all in good fun. It's so hot that you laugh at my sarcastic sense of humor, it shows a lot about a guy who isn't scared away by it. I can tell you think I'm cute by the way you're staring at me. No, not all hot girls have lame stuck-up personalities, but I'm still flattered that you think I'm awesome and smart too. You can't really be that shocked. Really? Oh, well ok. Thank you.

Now that we've exchanged names, I think it's fair to say we're not strangers anymore. I get a lot of satisfaction out of the way your face lights up when I touch your arm. A few more minutes of this and you're going to be totally hooked. Oops! I think you already are. I know, I hear that a lot that I'm not like all the other girls. Well, thank you for the compliment.

Yes, here are my friends. Don't be intimidated. Just like we established, girls can be hot AND awesome, which of course my friends are too. Well, I don't want to ditch them so I'm going to go get another drink on the other side of the bar, and pretend you aren't watching me even though I can see it out of the corner of my eye, and I know you can't help it anyway. You want my number? I'll think about it. Maybe later. Go have fun with your friends!

Ooh, here comes another really cute guy. I hope you don't notice him talking to me. Oh, too late. I see you looking at us from across the room. But what can you do.

Oh hey, it's you again. I'm impressed you lasted 15 minutes over on that other side. Boys are so predictable! Sure, you can have my number if you really want it. Yes, I'll try to answer if you call. Better yet, text me. What do you mean how many days should you wait before you contact me? Oh come on... do I really seem like other girls? Let me put it this way; if you want to hang out, text me tomorrow. Do you like sushi?

No I'm sorry, I'm working late the next few days and then I'll be in LA for the weekend. Oh he, sorry about that, I had to get back to work. What are you doing? Yeah, next Tuesday will work. I know it's driving you nuts that I don't respond to your text messages right away, but that's the whole point. I know deep down you like it.

Aww thanks! You look great too. You're totally still as hot as I remember and I'm not even drinking this time! I'm so glad I chose these jeans, they make my butt look hot. And I know you just noticed it when you were walking behind me, I caught you. How cute that you put on a little too much cologne. It's flattering that you're worried about impressing me. This is our house, yeah that is my roommate. It is nice, huh? I found them on craigslist, can you believe it? What do you feel like? There's an all you can eat sushi place a few miles away. Sounds good to me too!

I like everything, I'm not picky, you can just order for us. Want to share a sake and a Kirin? Do you like unfiltered? So what do you do? I like that you feel important when I listen to what you're saying with interest. I'm glad you like answering questions. It's really charming that you're a little nervous. Oh finally, the drinks are here. Looks like you're starting to loosen up! I can tell that when you ask me something and I answer, you're more interested in watching my lips move. I think you're cute too. Yes, of course I'm glad we got together. Yeah I'm having a really good time! I know you are, I can tell. Thank you so much for dinner.

I'm impressed that you got up the guts to take my hand. Aren't you glad it's cold out so you have a reason to put your arms around me? I wonder how long I can look up at you with this look in my eyes before you get bold and kiss me. Finally.... you're not bad. Little less tongue next time though maybe.

You're right, we do have so much in common. You're pretty cool yourself. I'm glad I met you too. When can you see me again? Hmm... I'm not sure, I'll have to look at my schedule. We'll plan something though. Yes I promise! I'm pretty tired, I have to work early tomorrow. Aww don't look so sad. You'll see me again.

Oh hi, I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you the last few days, I've been so busy with work. Yeah, I have plans with my friends for tonight. Yeah I have to work tomorrow too. How about Thursday?

My brief vacay: A vague overview

Since starting my job in October, I've been asking for 3-4 days off to celebrate Christmas with my family up north (about 8 hours from where I live). I was finally given a few days off: February 24th, 25th, and 26th. Knowing I only had three nights and two and a half days, I had to make the most of it.

After working all day on Saturday, I jumped in my car and drove straight from my job to the hometown of the Ex, where I stayed for the evening. We hadn't seen each other in 6 months, and the last visit was a little strange because it was a short meeting in the lobby of the hotel he was staying in. I think we were both concerned that this visit could be as awkward as the last, but we had high hopes. In an effort to maintain the privacy and sweetness of the situation, I will just say this: it was really nice, really sweet, really innocent, and went at least as well as I had hoped for. And also reminded me of why I miss him, and reinforced the fact that I do. Very much. The only disappointing part was the fact that I'd lost 9 lbs since I saw him last, which I don't think he noticed. (Come to think of it, no one in my family did either. Fabulous.)

Sunday, after lunch and a little shopping, we said goodbye and I drove up to my own hometown where I met up with my mom and went to an Oscar party. After a few Bloody Marys with her former work friends (who haven't seen me since I was 15) I started telling them some of my most recent dating stories (including, of course, the toolshed plastic surgeon and the persian fashion mogul, among others). Within 15 minutes, I had 15-20 generously middle-aged women crowded around me, enthralled and asking question upon question, which eventually turned into a live advice column for all their own dating dilemmas. Love the ladies... but I have to say I never thought I'd be giving 55 year old women dating advice. C'est la vie!

The drive home got ugly when the conversation between my mom and I turned to her relationship with the World's Biggest Scumbag, ie her boyfriend of the past 12 years. The same Scumbag she's been vowing to break up with and kick out of her house for the past 10. Also, the same Scumbag that was the eventual cause of my moving out at the age of 16. Not my favorite subject, as I'm sure you can understand, but I'm sure I'll divulge you more in the future. But for the purpose of this story, let's just say she left my (former) stepdad (one of the most intelligent, kind-hearted, successful, worldly, sweet people ever) for the World's Biggest Scumbag, which I will never understand. Not even under the influence of hallucinogenic drugs! Long story short, my stepdad and I keep in touch because he's awesome.

Monday I woke up to an email from my stepdad, and we got together for the best sushi I think I have ever had. We talked about all different kinds of things, and he asked me some different things about how things are with the Ex, who I can tell he liked a lot. He reaffirmed my thoughts on the subject. (I wish I could say more about this, but better to say too little than too much.)

I spent the rest of the evening with my mom (and more messy conversations). I woke up this morning (Tuesday), and showered and got ready so I could leave by 11. On the way back down south, I stopped at the Ex's office and we had lunch across the street, which was still comfortable and nice and definitely a great note to end my visit on.

We texted pretty much the whole time I was driving back, and I may be wrong but I do believe we are at least somewhat in the same mindset.

I guess we'll see.

Stopped shortly at Starbucks when I got back into town to say hello to the Foxista. He was in the middle of a staff meeting and couldn't talk, but called me later and we had an unusually awkward conversation. He texted me after to tell me how there is no way he could explain how much he missed me, how he thinks about me frequently, and seeing my sweet face was "spectacular." Weird. Maybe we'll go on a second date after all.

.... MAYBE.

Crushing dreams, one frumpy unmarried cat lady at a time.

Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently

A Brief Vacay

The Girl in the Mirror is out of town for a few days.....

I'll try to update you on what's been going on, but just advanced warning; it's going to be a hectic three days.

Au revoir!

College Co-Ed runs 300-guy train to celebrate Valentine's Day

But only on Speeddate.com!

Seriously though, folks. You didn't really think I'd post about gangbang porn, did you?


According to the LA Times Web Scout blog, this college co-ed named Francesca Salcido decided to go on 300 online speed dates (as mentioned in my Speed Dating In Bed post back in December) for Valentine's Day. An honorable endeavor, if you ask me.

Had I known she was doing that, though, I obviously would have made plans to try and out-do this dating diva, instead of what I ended up doing, which was spending time with a group of real people. Nothing too notable... a few drinks with some friends (nothing personal guys, I did have a great time with you), but at least a little genuine human interaction. And as much as I can sit here and pretend to laugh about this girl's idea, I secretly wish I had thought of it first.


Something about this story makes me feel both fiercely competitive and also like I just found my kindered spirit. Maybe someday we'll be friends.


I wonder how it went?