A second date to write home about

I guess technically you could say that it was a third date (I met up with Erwin the other night when we were at the same bar with our friends, and we hung out a bit), but fabulous nonetheless.

Thinking I was off work at 10pm (instead of 6pm) he'd made plans to go to a party at a pizza place with his coworkers and was considering canceling so we could hang out instead, which I insisted he didn't do (bailing on plans with friends to hang out with your girlfriend is the first ingredient in a very potent brew of resentment later on). He came by my work to visit me, which caused about 25 minutes of glowing smiles in front of my coworkers, and asked me a little hesitantly if I wanted to go with him to his work party. I told him I didn't want to intrude and it was totally fine if he would rather meet up later, but he said he wanted me to come so I said I'd love to. We met at my house when I got off so I could change and took off for Pizza Port.

His colleagues are 95% male and range in age from 24-60(?). It's obviously a little intimidating to walk into a big room full of people I don't know (that secretly I was hoping would like me so they would give him the thumbs up on me), but he introduced me to everyone and they were all very friendly and positive. It wasn't long before I was involved in my own conversations with them and making everyone laugh. We ended up staying a few hours and having quite a few beers, and also a great time. When we left he told me how much he loves the fact that he knows he can take me anywhere and introduce me to people and doesn't have to worry if I'm going to be awkward or shy or having a good time; that he adores the fact that I have an intelligent sense of humor that makes everyone around me laugh. Gotta love genuine compliments.

We stopped at his apartment so he could change. I wasn't surprised to find that the 1 bedroom apartment of a single 24 year old male wasn't exactly spotless (which he warned me about extensively, and almost didn't want me to see it), but was so relieved to see that it was just clothes and papers on the floor, and not month-old pizza boxes and crushed beer cans. And underneath the bills and tee-shirts is actually a very nice apartment, also inhabited by two very cute black kitties. It always means a lot to me when a guy has pets, because it means he is able to commit himself for caring for something other than his own needs.

We met up with some of his friends I had met the night we ran into each other and had another great time with them. Time flew by and after closing the bar down, we went over to the 24-hour diner across the street and ate lots of greasy drunk-food and traded nicknames for awful sex acts (my personal worst picks of the evening: grumpy munchkins, chili rainbows, and tiajuana crimescenes). When we finished, we parted ways with his friends and he drove me home, but we sat in the car and talked for over an hour. It's strange and exciting to feel like I met a guy who is the male equivalent of myself, personality wise, and that he feels the same way. I'm thinking we're sort of crazy about each other.

Sweet! When does this every happen??

This is literally the first time I've felt like I have actually feelings for someone other than the Ex since we broke up...

Real magic in the Magic Kingdom

About two weeks ago, I was at Taco Tuesday at Fred's with C, and after being approached (/chatted up/harassed/stalked) by a bunch of definite no-go's (and I think it might have been "Marines drink for free" considering how many obnoxiously drunk douchebags with crewcuts there were), I locked eyes with a guy leaning over the back of C's chair to snag some napkins off of our table. After a few sarcastic comments between us, he retreated a few feet back and leaned against the wall, directly behind C's head. From then on, no matter who I talked to or was looking at, he was looking at me. And every time we made eye contact, he'd smile this seductive smile at me (think James Dean), or wink at me, and even stuck his tongue out at me to show off his tongue ring. Come to think of it... I may have started the facemaking. But that's just details.

Eventually Mr. Badass (let's call him Erwin) came and sat down next to me. "Before you say anything, Missy," he said, "let me just tell you now, I'm not gonna let you blow me off like all the other poor guys who keep trying to talk to you. Not until you give me a fighting chance." Ok, so he was real cute, though definitely not my "type," but a guy with charisma and a little spice is alright in my book.

We talked for awhile, and he made C and I laugh until we cried quite a few times, and we sassed each other up. (It's always so refreshing to find a guy who can take it and dish it back just as well.) I asked him why he had flashed his tongue ring at me. "Just tryin' to get some pussy." Classy. (To which I, of course, explained that he better move to another table 'cause it wasn't on the menu at mine.) Eventually, I finally agreed to tell him my name and what I did and where I lived. Each minute that we bullshitted, the boy grew more fond of me. The brattier I was, the more he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of me. (Is it really that easy?) At one point he told me he wanted to take me to Disneyland. "Oh yeah, totally, let's go." (I'm sure.) As much as I sassed him and toyed with him and lovingly dragged him through the coals (which he ate up, and did right back to me, so none of those "you're such a bitch" comments, please), there was definitely some sort of magnetic chemistry between us that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

He walked out with us, and I (perfectly willingly) gave him my phone number. He asked how soon he should call. "Tomorrow, if you want to see me again. But I prefer texts."

Sure enough, Erwin texted me the next day. We wrote back and forth every so often for two weeks, until we solidified a plan to go to Disneyland Friday (which was yesterday). I told my friends I had these plans, but was convinced they weren't actually going to happen.... who honestly takes a girl to Disneyland for a first date?

He picked me up around 10am and was cuter than I recalled, and turned out to be a great driver (very important to me, seeing as how I get so awkwardly nervous when other people hold my life in their hands). We drove over and laughed on the way, and he bought my two-day parkhopper pass (he has a premium annual passport already).

We went straight to the Blue Bayou restaurant, which is the one inside Pirates of the Carribbean. (Which has also impressed every single one of my friends, because apparently it's impossible to get a reservation... this boy did some planning.)

Lunch was dark and kind of romantic, but still in the "uncomfortable first date" sort of way. We had a nice conversation and headed out to start riding the rides. Things started to loosen up while we waited for Pirates, and as we walked out after we got off he held my hand. From then on, we felt a bit more comfortable, and I don't really recall standing in the lines (though we must have) because we were talking and laughing a lot. He's definitely one of those people with a natural charisma and magnetism about him, and one of those smiles that lights up a room, which I love. And he keeps me laughing, which automatically makes him pretty damn dateable.

Eventually we headed over to California Adventure Park, which I had never been to before. Strangely the best thing in the park was the museum about animation. I'm not sure what happened in there, but something between us just clicked. We were looking at all these original sketches from Snow White and talking about how my roommate had just moved out and taken her dog (aka the love of my life) and he made a joke about getting me one, but then said more seriously that he was becoming more crazy about me by the minute and I could probably talk him into just about anything anything. When we walked out he was being really quite, and told me he had had a moment of euphoria while we were inside that he couldn't really explain.

He talked me into going on the Tower of Terror, which is named quite appropriately. They always say that fear and humor are two emotions that bond people the quickest, which I wouldn't argue. Gotta love that adrenaline!

After a few more rides and lots of hand-holding and arms around each other, and times where we'd look at each other and it seemed as though we both wanted to kiss but it just wasn't the perfect moment yet, I talked him into the Ferris Wheel, which he said was his biggest fear. (After everything else we went on, I can't really understand that.) We waited 'til it got dark and my big plan was to kiss at the top when it stopped (movie-worthy, right?), but they put us in a cage with two ladies so that plan was blown. We chose a rocking cage (or at least I did, while he stood shaking in his boots) which turned out to be about as terrifying as he predicted it would be. Although he was scared shitless, he did make me and the two ladies in our gondola laugh hysterically which only reminded me why I was having such a fantastic day and was growing exponentially fond of this guy.

When we got off (and after he pretty much kissed the ground) he said he wanted to go back to guest services to see if we could convert my ticket into an annual passport. They told us the best thing to do is to do it on the second day we use it, so that we won't have trouble with blackout days. The woman showed us the brochure with all of the different options, and was describing to me about how much I would pay for each type of membership. He told her I wouldn't be the one paying for it, and agreed that we would do it next time we came back. As much as I am not one to plan anything for the future these days, I had no doubt in my mind that I would be coming back with him. Already, this was by far the best date I had ever been on.

At this point we realized we were painfully hungry and set off to Downtown Disney to get some dinner before the fireworks, which were only an hour away. But when we got there we found that every single other person at Disneyland was doing the same thing and all the restaurants had over an hour wait, so we put our name in and went to the bar at ESPNZone to have a drink. We realized that we were going to miss the fireworks show by waiting that long anyway, so we decided Disney was done for the day and headed off to the restaurant of my choice, which just so happened to be my beloved BJ's. Mmm....

We got some (delicious) pizza and cocktails in our tummies and at this point were just staring at each other in awe of the day we had just had. Though we joked with each other that it was a good sign that we had "tolerated" each other for the 13 hours we had spent together (again, I adore a guy who can take my sarcasm and give it back to me), it was beyond a doubt that we had both grown head over heels over the course of the day.

At one point, after a couple drinks, I asked him if there really wasn't anything he wanted to know about me (he really hadn't asked me much about my family or past, though I had asked him lots of things). He replied with, quite honestly, the best monologue I think I've ever heard.

"It isn't that I don't want to know about you. I want to know everything about you. But I know I'll learn these things over time. It isn't important to me to sit here and ask you questions about your past, because I can't be a part of your past. What I want to know is how I can make you laugh. What makes you tick. I want to know what you're excited about. What makes you cry, and what your buttons are, so I know what not to do. What I want to know about is your future, because that's what I can be a part of. I WANT to be a part of it."

The day that could have gone so wrong managed to go better than I could ever have imagined.

While he was driving me home (now 11pm) he jokingly said "where to next?" though he knew I had to be up early and had to be getting to bed. "Seriously though, I don't even want you to go home. I don't want this day to end."

I didn't either.

He pulled up to my house and got out of the car to hug me goodbye, gave me a fantastic goodnight kiss, and told me he had been waiting for it all day. He told me he already missed me and truly couldn't wait to see me again.

As much as I am so noncommittal since the heartbreak to end all heartbreaks, there is something about him that I just can't get enough of. This might actually be it.

Potential Boyfriend Questionnaire

Stolen (borrowed!) from one of my fabulously sexy gay Weho friends. Feel free to fill it out in a comment if you feel like it.... or better yet, if you are seriously applying, you can always email it to me. Include pictures please. :) haha...


1. What is your favorite non basic color....?
(ie not in your basic rainbow.... his favorite happened to be cum stain white... interesting)

2. Would you rather live in an ice mansion located in the Arctic circle, a wooden shack in the Carribean, an elven tree house in the Canadian forest, or Milwaukee? Why?

3. Name three colors in your eyes.

4. In your opinion, what is the best date movie, and why?

5. Pen, pencil, or quill?

6. What is the capital of Assyria?

7. Where do you prefer to get clothes? American Eagle/A&F, H&M, Heritage, Nordstrom Rail, Thrift Store or Garbage? Or other? Please specify.

8. When you are at the ceremony of your wedding, what music is playing?

9. What is the first thing you think about in the morning... if you think at all?

10. Which liquor is most like you, and why?

11. What do you dream about most often?

12. How do your parents feel about your life?

13. A relationship is (please select the closest answer):

• They are like a great wine to me... they compliment me when I am out with friends, and they are a good friend to me as well.
• A rush of emotion... someone I attach myself to and can't imagine living without.
  
• They are nothing like me at all; different tastes, different hobbies, etc... but for some reason, we mesh.
• My partner in crime. If I'm hungry for strawberries, they more than likely will be stealing some for me.
• They are HOT. Who cares what they're like? I don't take the time to get to know them well.

14. Please list any and all special attributes, related experience, or special skills that may set you apart from other applicants.

Ode to the Gay Boy

Spending time in West Hollywood is a reminder that I would be so happy as a gay male.

My recent trips to the area have involved lots of the following:

Big False Lashes

Lots of Dramatic Makeup

Absolut Mandarin and Tonics

....and....
....drum roll please....


10 Million+ Excrutiatingly Attractive Gay Men


What torture.

Don't get me wrong, boys and girls. I'm not really complaining.

I love love LOVE going out. I'm extremely social. I love getting dressed up. I love introducing myself to strangers, and making new friends. I love drinking. I love being with my friends.

But part of going out for me a lot of the time is meeting new dating prospects. And obviously, that's not an option in a sea of knock-out gay hotties. I end up getting tipsy, and after scoping out the scene, brutally crushing on 90% of the surrounding eye candy... but not a single one is into my species. It's so sad!

I've come to terms with it. I totally love gay guys. As it is, I've always gotten along the best with guys, and have about 4 guy friends to every 1 girl friend. I have always had a large number of gay guys in my friend arsenal. Why? They're the best. Here, an ode to the gay boys.

Here's to you, gay boys!
For your stylish fashion sense
and your snarky wit,
that I am never on the losing end of.
For more great and honest advice
than even my girlfriends can give.
You are always there-
as a shoulder to whine on,
to trash the bitches with,
to be the hottest eye candy I'll see all night,
to borrow lip gloss from,
and to give the most heartfelt compliments when I'm looking fly,
and also when I most need them.
(No one can be a 10 EVERY night,
but you know best when to pretend.)

We both know we'll never be romantic,
but you're the Will to my Grace,
the Ken Paves to my Jessica,
the Chris McMillan to my Jennifer,
my own personal queer eyes
when I'm in need of advice,
and for that I am forever greatful.

Thank you, gay boys-
For being beautiful, entertaining,
sexy, fierce,
and altogether
absolutely fabulous.