As I was saying in my last post, I've been talking lately with Mason Stanley and we were making plans to hang out. We both wanted to go on a "real date," as in... "pick you up at 8, go to dinner and the movies" kind of thing, but it was going to be awhile before we both had a completely free night to do that, and my (our?) impatience got the best of us.
I also started to wonder if maybe I already knew him, since after chatting for a bit we'd realized we hang out at all the same places, on the same nights. It seemed more likely that we would have met before, or at least had some friends in common.
So he had plans to go out with his friends, and he asked me to come and meet up with them at an entertainment complex nearby our neighborhood. I was hanging out with my roommate and her boyfriend so I didn't leave right away. I had to be up early so I told him I would come, but only for a little while.
When I got there at about 11:30, I called him to tell him I was outside of the bar he was hanging out at. He said he was too, but there was no one around. I thought maybe he was messing with me, since from inside the bar he'd be able to see where I was standing, but then I figured out he was standing at the other entrance and started walking over. I saw him standing outside talking to me on his phone, and as I got closer I saw that he was really cute; a few inches taller than me, with the same piercing I have, and definitely my type.
I walked up and said, "Hi!" He looked back at me and said, "Hi, wow, you're cute! I had no idea what you were going to look like." I said, "I know, that was the point! What's your name?" We introduced ourselves and started walking towards the bar where his friends had moved to. We went over the basics; where we're from, what we do for a living, etc. He kept looking at me funny which was charming. I could tell he was drunk, but he was at least holding himself together pretty well.
We got to the bar and we ran into a few of his friends, all girls. He didn't introduce me at first and I wondered if he'd told anyone about me or how he knew me. After they stopped talking I introduced myself and felt a little uncomfortable. I know how female friends can be sometimes and I wasn't sure who they thought I was in the first place.
We went and sat at the bar and ordered some drinks. I payed (I know Simon, aren't you shocked??) since he had insisted that I was the one that had initiated the 'date.' We chatted, mostly about the things we were into, places we hang out, our families, our backgrounds, and how we study and research body language (and all areas in which we had lots in common), and every couple of minutes one of his guy friends would come up and talk to us and ask me a bunch of questions. They were really funny guys! I can definitely see why he's friends with them.
After awhile all of his friends kept coming up and asking us to come down to the pool table they had, but we weren't going (we had a lot of getting to know each other to do!). Eventually they all (~8-10 of them?) pulled up stools and started asking all these questions; who was I? how did we meet? how long have we known each other? was I coming back to his house with them after?
I talked with them a lot, maybe even more than I got to talk with him. They were super cool, and I ended up hitting it off with the girls too, who I think ended up liking me a lot. I knew it was a big deal for him to bring me out with his friends, since he always mentions that in his blog; if there's a girl he thinks he might like, he always wants to see what his friends are going to think. By the time they were going to get going, they were trying to talk me into coming back to his house with them to hang out, but I had to be up super early and kept trying to tell them I couldn't go. At least it's a good sign that they really wanted me to come, right?
So they called a cab big enough to carry them all to his house, and he said he was going to walk me to my car. We started walking and he found a table and chairs and wanted to sit and chat. I reminded him that the cab would be here soon and that his friends might leave without him, and they called him to tell him the cab was there and they were leaving, but he wanted to keep talking, so I told him I'd drop him off since he lives so close. He seemed like a really sweet guy, and kept telling me how he thought I was so adorable. We talked for a little while longer and walked to my car, where he gave me one of his "business" cards.... or put more simply, a card with his last name (what he goes by) and his phone number, and a girl has to wonder if he hands these out a lot? Albeit smooth, but kind of a bad sign.
So we drove back to his house, and I was going to drop him off outside, but he insisted that I come in and see the cat that he had thought all along was a girl, but just found out was a boy when he went to get it fixed. I walked in and all of his friends seemed excited I was there, and I stayed and talked for a few minutes, but really did have to go. He walked me out to my car and gave me a hug, where he told me again I was adorable and wanted to hang out again.
When I got home, he texted me and said he wants to hang out for real soon, when I'm not "Cinderella with a curfew." Good one! I called him Prince Charming and asked when he was taking me out on a date. He asked me the next day if he'd embarrassed himself, which he didn't. I am looking forward to hanging out with him when he's sober though.
We've texted each other over the past few days but have yet to make a solid plan, since we both have busy schedules. Hopefully we will soon.
And you know I'll fill you in on all the details. :)
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Curiosity Killed The Cat
Monday, April 7, 2008
Waitlisted
Maybe something I should consider starting.
Let me explain. When I was seeing Erwin, I had changed my status on my Facebook profile to say I was "In A Relationship." Due to the Live Feed Facebook started some months back, pretty much everyone I know was alerted to this fact. This includes many a boy I have gone on dates with recently. I have too much pride to change it just yet.
I don't write about each and every date, by virtue of a majority of them not being blog-worthy at all. For example, Steven, who I went out for drinks with the night before I went to Disneyland for my first date with Erwin. He's a 25 year old law school student who I met on OKCupid, who's good looking and super sweet, but missing some key ingredients. He showed up dressed like it was laundry day (alright when we've been dating for awhile, but on a first date I would have assumed he would want to make the best first impression), spent a majority of the date talking about his ex and how broke he was, and as we ordered our first beers, he announced that he would pay for the first ones, but that I would be paying for the second ones. Now I'm not saying boys need to shell out more money than they have, but if he doesn't have the money to pay for two rounds of beers.... let's just order one. (Boys, please. Don't ever TELL a girl on a first date - that YOU invited her on - that she's going to have to pay for the next round. Bad manners.)
Anyway, in my opinion, it was a nice time but nothing to write home about. In his opinion, though, we had a ton in common, amazing chemistry, and he really wanted to see me again. After a few weeks of text messages from him, I didn't hear from him anymore, until tonight.
He's not a bad guy. In fact, he's a nice guy, with what seems like a good heart and a decent amount of intelligence. What he doesn't have is the social know-how to woo a girl during a first impression, which is key to getting 'em hooked. I spent the whole evening with him wishing there was someway to broach the subject, and help him out. With a few good pieces of wisdom and a little polishing, Steven could easily be a total catch for a great girl.
As much dating as I've done, and as many bad dates and poor first impressions I've had (if you don't believe me, go ahead and compare the amount of "first date" tags to "second date" tags.... I dare you), I think I'm kind of an expert on the subject of Do's and Absolutely-Do-Not's on a first date.
What better career for me than date-coaching for the desperate and down-trodden?
I'm seriously considering it. The details would need to be ironed out and all... but I welcome comments on the subject. Let's hear 'em!
Would you consider hiring a dating coach?
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Real magic in the Magic Kingdom
Eventually Mr. Badass (let's call him Erwin) came and sat down next to me. "Before you say anything, Missy," he said, "let me just tell you now, I'm not gonna let you blow me off like all the other poor guys who keep trying to talk to you. Not until you give me a fighting chance." Ok, so he was real cute, though definitely not my "type," but a guy with charisma and a little spice is alright in my book.
We talked for awhile, and he made C and I laugh until we cried quite a few times, and we sassed each other up. (It's always so refreshing to find a guy who can take it and dish it back just as well.) I asked him why he had flashed his tongue ring at me. "Just tryin' to get some pussy." Classy. (To which I, of course, explained that he better move to another table 'cause it wasn't on the menu at mine.) Eventually, I finally agreed to tell him my name and what I did and where I lived. Each minute that we bullshitted, the boy grew more fond of me. The brattier I was, the more he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of me. (Is it really that easy?) At one point he told me he wanted to take me to Disneyland. "Oh yeah, totally, let's go." (I'm sure.) As much as I sassed him and toyed with him and lovingly dragged him through the coals (which he ate up, and did right back to me, so none of those "you're such a bitch" comments, please), there was definitely some sort of magnetic chemistry between us that I couldn't quite put my finger on.
He walked out with us, and I (perfectly willingly) gave him my phone number. He asked how soon he should call. "Tomorrow, if you want to see me again. But I prefer texts."
Sure enough, Erwin texted me the next day. We wrote back and forth every so often for two weeks, until we solidified a plan to go to Disneyland Friday (which was yesterday). I told my friends I had these plans, but was convinced they weren't actually going to happen.... who honestly takes a girl to Disneyland for a first date?
He picked me up around 10am and was cuter than I recalled, and turned out to be a great driver (very important to me, seeing as how I get so awkwardly nervous when other people hold my life in their hands). We drove over and laughed on the way, and he bought my two-day parkhopper pass (he has a premium annual passport already).
Lunch was dark and kind of romantic, but still in the "uncomfortable first date" sort of way. We had a nice conversation and headed out to start riding the rides. Things started to loosen up while we waited for Pirates, and as we walked out after we got off he held my hand. From then on, we felt a bit more comfortable, and I don't really recall standing in the lines (though we must have) because we were talking and laughing a lot. He's definitely one of those people with a natural charisma and magnetism about him, and one of those smiles that lights up a room, which I love. And he keeps me laughing, which automatically makes him pretty damn dateable.
Eventually we headed over to California Adventure Park, which I had never been to before. 
He talked me into going on the Tower of Terror, which is named quite appropriately. They always say that fear and humor are two emotions that bond people the quickest, which I wouldn't argue. Gotta love that adrenaline!
After a few more rides and lots of hand-holding and arms around each other, 
When we got off (and after he pretty much kissed the ground) he said he wanted to go back to guest services to see if we could convert my ticket into an annual passport. They told us the best thing to do is to do it on the second day we use it, so that we won't have trouble with blackout days. The woman showed us the brochure with all of the different options, and was describing to me about how much I would pay for each type of membership. He told her I wouldn't be the one paying for it, and agreed that we would do it next time we came back. As much as I am not one to plan anything for the future these days, I had no doubt in my mind that I would be coming back with him. Already, this was by far the best date I had ever been on.
At this point we realized we were painfully hungry and set off to Downtown Disney to get some dinner before the fireworks, which were only an hour away. But when we got there we found that every single other person at Disneyland was doing the same thing and all the restaurants had over an hour wait, so we put our name in and went to the bar at ESPNZone to have a drink. We realized that we were going to miss the fireworks show by waiting that long anyway, so we decided Disney was done for the day and headed off to the restaurant of my choice, which just so happened to be my beloved BJ's. Mmm....
We got some (delicious) pizza and cocktails in our tummies and at this point were just staring at each other in awe of the day we had just had. Though we joked with each other that it was a good sign that we had "tolerated" each other for the 13 hours we had spent together (again, I adore a guy who can take my sarcasm and give it back to me), it was beyond a doubt that we had both grown head over heels over the course of the day.
At one point, after a couple drinks, I asked him if there really wasn't anything he wanted to know about me (he really hadn't asked me much about my family or past, though I had asked him lots of things). He replied with, quite honestly, the best monologue I think I've ever heard.
The day that could have gone so wrong managed to go better than I could ever have imagined.
While he was driving me home (now 11pm) he jokingly said "where to next?" though he knew I had to be up early and had to be getting to bed. "Seriously though, I don't even want you to go home. I don't want this day to end."
I didn't either.
He pulled up to my house and got out of the car to hug me goodbye, gave me a fantastic goodnight kiss, and told me he had been waiting for it all day. He told me he already missed me and truly couldn't wait to see me again.
As much as I am so noncommittal since the heartbreak to end all heartbreaks, there is something about him that I just can't get enough of. This might actually be it.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
WWBD?
As we grow up, we all (or most of us) come to learn some important rules about dating and the dynamics between us and the people we are interested in.
"Don't be too available."
"Wait three days before calling."
"Don't put out on the first date."
Obviously, there are some ageless pieces of wisdom that we all know, and some of us follow. But there are deeper intricacies that make simple ideals that much more effective. For example, not being too available. Sure, I can get a text message from a guy I met that asks if I can hang out that night, and I can write back and say I'm busy. But you know what's even better? Not writing back 'til that night, when I'm busy. See what I mean?
There are so many of these little games (albeit stupid... I'm the first to admit that all these little dating games are bullshit and the world would be a better place without the unneeded frustrations that go along with them) that make the chance of having the person you really like fall for you that much greater. (Again... stupid, but proven successful from many, many experiments.)
Now as much as I would like to believe myself to be some incredible dating guru who has a natural talent for making guys fall head over heels in love with her, this stuff does not come easily for me. I spent the first 75% of my dating career being "that girl."
The girl that texts him as soon as she wakes up to tell him the dreams she had about how they got married and what their kids looked like, and as she's falling asleep to let him know that he's the last thing she thinks about before she goes to sleep. Before I scare you away (as so many I have during those shameful years), I'll continue.
I have learned much of what I know through trial and error, but experience is the worst teacher: It gives you the test before ever presenting the lesson. And sometimes that just isn't good enough.
A year ago, I moved into my current house, with two fun girls around my age. I only realized recently that one of them is my source of endless amounts of boy advice, because when she moved out I found myself thinking, "What would Brandy do?" She is intelligent and beautiful, of course, but in the world of seducing the boys you really want, you have to have a bit better hand than that. She always has blackjack.
She's the girl who goes into a bar, and by the time she leaves she's been asked for her contact info by the top 5 hottest guys in the room, without having approached any of them herself. She is pretty much constantly dating a small handful of some of the most attractive, sweetest guys you could round up (including high fashion models, working actors, celebrity bodyguards, Ultimate Fighters, professional football players.... you get the picture). And most importantly (for me), she is the girl that I can always tell my dating dilemmas to, and who always knows exactly how to handle any given situation. She's very independent and resilient, and whenever I find myself floating back into the "it's been three days, why hasn't he called me yet?" mentality, I remember that it isn't the guys I should be worried about; it's me that they should be worried about. And with that motto, I move on to the next, and by the time I hear from the lame guy who took an extra week to call me after we went out, I've already met a few more guys and have all but forgotten about that one. (Which definitely works in my favor, because they always want to get back in the picture when they can see I have other things going on in my life. If you take nothing else from this entry, take that bit of wisdom.)
These little differences may seem trivial or benign, but they are the reason why sometimes gorgeous girls can't seem to find anyone better than some average looking, moronic douchebag who treats them like crap, and girls who aren't necessarily 10's (or even 7's or 8') or all that smart or interesting but always seem to get the most amazing guys. There aren't any leagues (let's cut out this "he's out of my league" shit, once and for all please).
You could potentially have any girl or guy that you want. It's all in the way you approach things. (And, to put it very basically, all about letting them know you're interested and then making them think that you're far too busy or important to worry about it. Being comfortable in your own skin and being your first priority is the world's biggest aphrodisiac. Promise.)And with that, I will just say simply...
Go get 'em, tigers!
Suggested reading: The Art of Seduction, by Robert Greene
P.S. On a side note, but totally related to this subject, do you remember
The Sexy Czechy I noted in my Most Epic Week In History post? The young engineer/kitesurfer Val Kilmer look alike.... Well anyway, after that night (a month ago), I never heard from him, though he had insisted on getting my number. So (like I was saying) I forgot about it and moved on to the next. Well, two days ago he texted me, and apologized for the big gap and very confidently suggested lunch at a nice restaurant right on the beach for the next day. Long story short, we had lunch yesterday, and it was FAB. The weather was perfect, the convo was seamless, he was even more handsome than I remembered, and we kissed at the end, where he said we really HAD to do it again. Hopefully this won't be the last mention of The Sexy Czechy!
Monday, March 3, 2008
Stuttering, Sushi, and Seduction... thanks Maki Monday!
Ah, Maki Monday. How I love thee.
My roommates and I went for dinner and drinks. We settled on a bottle of white wine and some rolls and edamame. When our waiter came to take our order, we found that he was A. 19 at the oldest and B. so painfully awkward that we had a hard time making eye contact with him. We ordered the wine and he came back to tell us that they were out of it. But then went on to explain that he doesn't know what it is, because his mom doesn't allow him to drink and he has never had alcohol before. And then smiled uncomfortably as we held in laughter and decided on a different wine.
We had to assume that customers don't often order bottles, as the manager was brought out to proudly present our bottle to us, uncork it dramatically, and pour us all what we thought was the initial taste, but what turned out to be what he considered a glass of wine.
As the evening went on, things became more and more awkward and funny, as Kevin (our waiter, and yes we absolutely used his name at every available opportunity) brought us our sushi and rambled on nervously every time we spoke to him. By the time the bottle was empty I had decided to wink at him every time we made eye contact, which as you can imagine caused a few close calls between him and the wall near our booth.
As we sat and chatted, the booth behind us emptied and a group of 3 walked by our table; namely a very attractive strawberry blonde studmuffin (you know how I love those redheads.... woo wee) who I smiled at seductively as he passed (and I'm really starting to think I've got that look down) and who turned around to look at me about 8 times before he left the place .
Within three minutes, Kevin reappeared with a scrap of paper, and explained that although this was not "regular protocol," the "gentleman" (let's call him Brett) who had been seated behind our table had called the restaurant and asked him to give me (the girl in the green top) his phone number, and that he wanted to buy us another bottle of what we were drinking. Kevin, in his regular fashion, rambled on about how this was not normal, and (I'm assuming he wasn't supposed to tell us this part) how the guy had asked him to call him back if we accepted and to tell him about our reaction. I told him to let him know we appreciated it, and (obviously) accepted another bottle of (totally unnecessary) wine. I told them I was going to text him to thank him, and my roommates told me that was SO lame, which Kevin lamented. ("Even I know that's lame." Thanks, Kev.) But of course, I did it anyway. By this point the entire center was closed, as well as Maki Maki, though they graciously sat around and waited for us to finish our second bottle. 
I got a text back from Brett asking what we were doing and that he was still around and wanted to meet up. At 11:30pm in an empty outdoor mall? Creepy. No thanks. (I suggested Wednesday night. We'll see.)
We wrote back and forth a couple times, and he added me on Facebook. So the good news first: he's actually cuter than I had thought originally, and 23 as well. The bad news is that he's "very conservative," lives in San Diego, and is in the military.
Guess nobody's perfect.
Friday, February 29, 2008
It's me! The girl who isn't like every other girl!
Firstly, you absolutely must read this: It's Me! Every girl ever.
Hi there! I saw you looking at me from the other side of the bar. I love your shirt. What made me come over here? You're the hottest guy I've seen all night, and I'm not the type to sit around batting my eyelashes and wait for you to approach me. Awww, I'm glad you're flattered. Your blushing makes you even sexier, did you know that?
It's so refreshing that you know how to maintain eye contact. And even though I'm wearing this tight lowcut v-neck tee! What a sweetheart you are. Where are my friends? They're over in that booth. Yeah, we work together. Who are your friends? Don't worry, I'm only being friendly to make a good impression. If I wanted to flirt with them I wouldn't have come over to talk to you. I'm going to make them laugh a bit. They approve! I can see it by the way you guys look at each other.
It's sweet of you to buy me a drink, I didn't expect you to. Are you up for a tequila shot? If you aren't I'm going to call you a pussy, but all in good fun. It's so hot that you laugh at my sarcastic sense of humor, it shows a lot about a guy who isn't scared away by it. I can tell you think I'm cute by the way you're staring at me. No, not all hot girls have lame stuck-up personalities, but I'm still flattered that you think I'm awesome and smart too. You can't really be that shocked. Really? Oh, well ok. Thank you.
Now that we've exchanged names, I think it's fair to say we're not strangers anymore. I get a lot of satisfaction out of the way your face lights up when I touch your arm. A few more minutes of this and you're going to be totally hooked. Oops! I think you already are. I know, I hear that a lot that I'm not like all the other girls. Well, thank you for the compliment.
Yes, here are my friends. Don't be intimidated. Just like we established, girls can be hot AND awesome, which of course my friends are too. Well, I don't want to ditch them so I'm going to go get another drink on the other side of the bar, and pretend you aren't watching me even though I can see it out of the corner of my eye, and I know you can't help it anyway. You want my number? I'll think about it. Maybe later. Go have fun with your friends!
Ooh, here comes another really cute guy. I hope you don't notice him talking to me. Oh, too late. I see you looking at us from across the room. But what can you do.
Oh hey, it's you again. I'm impressed you lasted 15 minutes over on that other side. Boys are so predictable! Sure, you can have my number if you really want it. Yes, I'll try to answer if you call. Better yet, text me. What do you mean how many days should you wait before you contact me? Oh come on... do I really seem like other girls? Let me put it this way; if you want to hang out, text me tomorrow. Do you like sushi?
No I'm sorry, I'm working late the next few days and then I'll be in LA for the weekend. Oh he, sorry about that, I had to get back to work. What are you doing? Yeah, next Tuesday will work. I know it's driving you nuts that I don't respond to your text messages right away, but that's the whole point. I know deep down you like it.
Aww thanks! You look great too. You're totally still as hot as I remember and I'm not even drinking this time! I'm so glad I chose these jeans, they make my butt look hot. And I know you just noticed it when you were walking behind me, I caught you. How cute that you put on a little too much cologne. It's flattering that you're worried about impressing me. This is our house, yeah that is my roommate. It is nice, huh? I found them on craigslist, can you believe it? What do you feel like? There's an all you can eat sushi place a few miles away. Sounds good to me too!
I like everything, I'm not picky, you can just order for us. Want to share a sake and a Kirin? Do you like unfiltered? So what do you do? I like that you feel important when I listen to what you're saying with interest. I'm glad you like answering questions. It's really charming that you're a little nervous. Oh finally, the drinks are here. Looks like you're starting to loosen up! I can tell that when you ask me something and I answer, you're more interested in watching my lips move. I think you're cute too. Yes, of course I'm glad we got together. Yeah I'm having a really good time! I know you are, I can tell. Thank you so much for dinner.
I'm impressed that you got up the guts to take my hand. Aren't you glad it's cold out so you have a reason to put your arms around me? I wonder how long I can look up at you with this look in my eyes before you get bold and kiss me. Finally.... you're not bad. Little less tongue next time though maybe.
You're right, we do have so much in common. You're pretty cool yourself. I'm glad I met you too. When can you see me again? Hmm... I'm not sure, I'll have to look at my schedule. We'll plan something though. Yes I promise! I'm pretty tired, I have to work early tomorrow. Aww don't look so sad. You'll see me again.
Oh hi, I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you the last few days, I've been so busy with work. Yeah, I have plans with my friends for tonight. Yeah I have to work tomorrow too. How about Thursday?
Thursday, January 10, 2008
I'm not much into clowns.
Finally starting to get over this damn cold (10 days? Really?) I decided to go out with this guy Dave, that found me on OkCupid, who's been hounding me all week for a "coffee" date or something. So cliche, no? Oh well.. not every guy can be blessed with a creative spirit, and he wasn't taking no for an answer, so when I finally got my voice back last night, I agreed to hang out tomorrow, aka this evening.
Not much in the mood for coffee, I redirected the date to the area of dinner - he suggested my very favorite restaurant Memphis (what a lucky guess!) and we met there. I'd seen some pictures of him and thought he was sort of cute; he turned out to be more attractive than I expected (always a nice surprise) and pretty tall. Boring haircut and outfit aside, he has big blue eyes and a charmingly vulnerable smile which gets me every time. We sat down at our table and started talking, and the more we talked the more I realized I hadn't the slightest clue what he did or who he was. The embarrassing part was that he had told me but I guess I've been talking to too many different guys because I have no recollection of the email exchange. Oops!
Anyway, apparently he's some big deal engineer for a local company that makes some really crazy new barcode system, and on the side he buys electronics, refurbishes, sells them, and makes a grip off the difference. Cute, smart, and entrepreneurial? Bring it on.
Though he was a math major in college (which he went to in Canada, where he's from) he actually had pretty impressive social skills, and I only ate a bit of my dinner (cornmeal crusted catfish and dirty rice.... pinch me) because our conversation was flowin' as smoothly as my martinis were going down. So far so good!
Once the bill was paid (which he took care of immediately... sexy) he told me he wasn't ready for the date to be over, I giggled, and he suggested one of my favorite late night spots down the street for a few drinks.
When we got there it was packed but we found a cozy table in the corner, and sat huddled together with our drinks, chatting. The more buzzed I got the more I realized that this date was actually going REALLY well.... like, I really like him! This never happens! We had a lot in common, he was totally interested in everything I had to say, and likewise, he's funny, he makes great eye contact (Girls and Boys: This is incredibly important if you want to come off as confident and comfortable, which you DO) and is super positive about life.
He asked me what my longest relationship was, I told him almost two years. He asked how long ago was that? I said about a year and a half ago. I asked when his last relationship was... his smile dropped and eyes darted away. Uh oh. He told me he didn't like to talk about it much. I pried.
"...10 years ago," he told me. I was buzzed but I did the math.... let's see... he's 28... "You haven't had a girlfriend since you were EIGHTEEN? WHY??"
He went on to tell me that he just couldn't figure it out. He'd meet girls, invite them out, sometimes they would say yes, they'd have at least an ok time, and they'd never hang out again. My crazy-dude radar started to beep annoyingly.
I pressed snooze.
I thought it sounded like a good idea to head back to his townhouse (which he owns, cool) to watch Flight of the Conchords, because nothing beats my two favorite New Zealanders. So funny. So sexy.
He changed into his pajamas and we got onto his bed. Ok, wait. Before I start, you have to visualize the layout of the situation.
Basically, we're laying on his bed, watching tv. 
During a commercial, he looks over and me with this really cute vulnerable look in his eye, and goes in for a kiss. He's a great kisser! I'm excited! We're kissing, we're happy, we're totally vibing on each other.
The show comes back on and I pull away and get back to watching... always playing the interested and then slightly-disinterested and then interested again card, works every time. (If you haven't read the Art of Seduction yet, DO.)
(More epic than this)
As you can see from my diagram, said tent-poppage is in my DIRECT line of vision, and seeing as he clearly hadn't taken any notice of the fact that I had noticed, I felt even more awkward. So here I am, laying there, and trying to look ANYWHERE but the TV. I check my phone. I send a text message. I ask him about the photography on the wall.
(Sidenote: Don't get me wrong, people. Being a girl in her early 20's with the libido of a bunny, I have no problem with boner. In fact, I like boner. I'm flattered by boner. Boner means fun things are to come. It means progress. It means we're in business. All fun aside, though, I'm still an old-fashioned girl and this was just not the appropriate time for boner. It was clear to both of us.)
(Sidenote #2: The good news is he's clearly packing some serious heat... there wasn't much left to the imagination.)
After the longest 45 seconds of my life, I heard him gasp and roll over uncomfortably, rigid with embarrassment. Maybe the track pants were a poor choice, my friend. "Do you want something to drink??" He jumps up and crosses awkwardly diagonally in front of the bed towards the fridge as to not display his obscene profile. Upon arriving at said fridge, he opens it and stands in it. "Is it hot in here?! It feels hot. Are you hot??"
I accepted a Vitamin Water and we layed there watching Flight of the Conchords and probably both wishing we could sink into the bed and disappear. Eventually after it wore off (which took literally like... 10 minutes. You would think the embarrassment/shame that was written all over his face would help calm things down? Guess not) I yawned and said I better go. He walked me out and gave me a less warm/comfortable hug than he welcomed me with.
I can't imagine what a second date would be like, but I can definitely say that he better not wear pajama pants next time. I wonder if this happens with all the other girls?
... Such is life.
Friday, December 28, 2007
I guess it is the network.
These days, cellphone technology evolves so quickly that a girl's gotta update her phone on a very regular basis if she wants to keep up with what's hot. And considering my entire life pretty much revolves around this wallet-sized piece of technology, I'm picky.
After doing a tiny bit of research and keeping my eye out for the phones I've been seeing my friends getting, and since I have Verizon and not AT&T (sorry iPhoners), I decided on a Palm Treo.
My New-Every-Two deal was up so I headed into the store to get my new pride and joy, thinking I was going to get a hefty deal on it. No such luck. I ended up having to talk to this guy, Guierrmo (who, I'll admit, is kind of a hottie.... but he needs to pick a new name for suresies), for like an hour and a half to try to work out something better (even a tech-savvy chick like myself doesn't feel like shelling out a whole $600 for something I'm going to drop within a month), since I guess its one of their most expensive models.
Not to toot my own horn too extravagantly, but I can be quite the charmer when I want to be, and I definitely wanted to be. It was clear that this Guierrmo guy had taken a liking to me, with all the unabashed flirting and staring he was doing, and I knew all I had to do was be cute and bat my eyelashes a little to get my way.
I ended up with a greatly discounted service plan and an extra $150 off the phone, plus the usual discount for the new 2-year contract. But that wasn't all. When I got home and started trying to figure out how to use my new gadget, I received a text message.
"Hi, this is Guierrmo with Verizon Wireless.
Feel free to text or call me if you have
any questions about your new phone."
Apparently he'd sneakily written down my cell number while entering it into the computer to update my contract. It was a pretty normal-seeming message, and I had to wonder if maybe I was overreacting... maybe this is a new standard of customer service? As they say... "It's the Network." I wrote back. I had to. Maybe I was a little bit of a smart-ass, but he didn't seem to mind.
"Wow.... pretty personalized customer
service you guys offer huh?"
To which he replied:
"Yeah, it's the network. ;-)"
So that settled it. He was definitely flirting. Customer service doesn't involve wink emoticons, if you ask me.
A few days went by and I did have a question about my phone that I couldn't find anywhere in the instruction manual, so I texted him and asked him why it kept turning the word "anything" into "thanksgiving" when I was sending text messages.
Bad idea. Then came an onslaught (we're talking.... 5 days worth) of texts and phone calls (just voicemails... you didn't think I'd answer, did you?) asking me to hang out, and telling me how awesome and hot he thinks I am, and how he hopes I'm having a great holiday and how I'm his Christmas wish. Wow. Has he ever heard of playing hard to get? I could teach him a thing or two. The Art of Seduction (the book and the philosophy) is all about not being very available... he should read it.
Hate to say it, boys and girls, but my arm's pretty twistable....
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Check, Please!
Although I've had more than my fair share of dating experience at my tender age of 23, and may shell out a generous amount of wisdom and advice to my friends who may have a little less, I seek at least twice as much from other sources (can't learn EVERTHING from personal experience, you know).
So I've read lots of books. My favorites so far have been the Art of 
And although I learned a great deal about the world of dating (and how to have anyone wrapped around your finger, by ignoring them and swinging your hips correctly, respectively),
Which brings me to my new book. Hopefully you know by now that some of my favorite things are dating, talking about dating, thinking about dating, boys in general, and celebrity gossip. Now combine that all in a book written by the world's first supermodel, and we're in business.
Check, Please! Dating, Mating, and Extricating is written by the infamous Janice Dickinson, who has dated more celebrities than Paris Hilton (give the heiress some credit though, Janice has got a lot of years on her) and is filled with acerbic wit and tough love, plus TMI about way too many male celebrities.
I'm an idiot for "going for my wallet" on a first date.
If a woman breaks out her wallet, she has a problem. Even for the 50/50 split. On a first date, I don't ever want you to say, "What's my share?" He brought the wallet. You brought the girl. Even trade.
I should stop meeting guys on the Internet.
You know how they used to say of ugly actors, "He has a face for radio?" Well, if a guy's out there hunting for women online, chances are he has a face and personality for the Web. Plus, some of those weirdos really could be hunting for women. And remember this: If the camera adds 10 pounds, the Web adds 40.
There are ideal places to meet guys (some of these I haven't even tried! Thanks Janice).
- Park Benches (not bums... the rich one's own the parks, not live in them)
- Men's Clothing Stores (ie: Turnbull & Asser, the nicer the better obvi)
- Bike Paths
- The Car Wash
- Dog Parks (at least you know the men can handle the responsibility of nurturing and interacting with living things.... and are used to dealing with some crap)
- The Gym
- The Bank (only the main branch of one of the most exclusive banks, as approved by Forbes)
- Delicatessens in Wealthy Neighborhoods (Janice is obsessed with Jewish men, more on that in a second)
- The Golf Course on Weekdays (only two types of men can golf on weekdays - rich men and retired men, who are often rich men too. And according to Janice, one of the three requirements of a perfect man is a flexible schedule [the other two being slim hips and a trust fund])
- Car Dealerships (of course, luxury car dealerships. This is Janice Dickinson we're learning from)
Jewish Men are God's Gift.
They make the absolute best husbands -- because they're loyal and because they have the largest units. Jewish men are used to women running things. [They] are also used to women taking charge of the household finances, so you'll control the purse strings -- which are always strings I want to control. They're also less likely to divorce you. They would rather put up with more of your crap than give you the keys to the second BMW and the vacation house in Boca.
All in all, I think Janice might be slightly out of her mind, a little too stereotypical, and overly impressed by a huge bank account... but her book is fun to read and there's no reason why an avid Dating Diva like myself can't try out a few of her theories.
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