I Love PostSecret

Does anyone else follow it?

These two spoke to me.


The first I could have sent,
and the second he could have sent.

There's something very comforting to know that there are strangers all over the country with the same secret thoughts. Have any of you ever mailed in a secret?

Diamonds and Devotion

It occured to me this morning as I was getting dressed what month it is. And more importantly, what month in what year it is.

June 2008.

It might not be that significant to you. And I didn't even realize it was significant to me either, 'til something reminded me of The Ex.

Had we done things according to the plans we had made (and talked about constantly), we would have been getting married this month. MARRIED.

I know, right? Wow. It's almost unbelievable to me. Honestly, I can hardly even remember what it was like to be with him, it seems so long ago. I remember similarly, it hit me last June that we would have been getting engaged at that time, but since then I guess I had just put it out of my mind. It really snuck up on me.

But I went off to work (on my day off, mind you) for a class, knowing that at least concentrating on something else would temporarily distract my mind from it.

So there I am, in our back room learning all kinds of new things about our haircolor line, when in walks one of the girls I work with, sporting a brand new sparkling rock on her left ring finger. I tell myself I'm hallucinating and turn my attention back to the lecture.

Another one of the girls I work with (engaged), walks back to mix color and sees the ring, and they start talking excitedly about diamonds and fiances and wedding plans, and now I'm starting to feel a little lightheaded. I focus again on the class.

Another girl I work with walks back (also engaged) and gives her a big congratulatory hug. Now everyone is giggling and hugging. My eyes are stinging with tears and my stomach is imitating the washing machine churning beside me. I don't even notice that 10 minutes has gone by when I realize I haven't heard anything our educator is talking about, but I'm nodding along with the information.

So now, I am one of two un-engaged (or un-married) girls at my work, and the other girl has a serious boyfriend. Literally, I kid you not. There are 6 engaged girls! I am surrounded daily by diamonds and devotion. Where's mine?

And this, of course, all comes fairly soon after a break-up with Erwin; someone who I thought was sort of downright amazing. I wish he hadn't said all the things he said if he didn't mean them.

And on the subject of weddings, remind me to tell you all about my opinion on the Sex And The City movie. Cute movie! TERRIFYING PREMISE.



Note: I'm not upset anymore about not marrying The Ex, as I've realized over the course of the past few years that it's definitely for the best. But I'm starting to feel a little left behind, knowing that that could have been me too.