Geeks of the World..... Unite!

Ok, maybe that's a bit vague. Let's stick with Geeks in the LA area.

I will be attending the monthly Geek Dinner at Canter's Deli tomorrow, to mix and mingle with LA's finest computer nerds and internet aficionados. So if any of you other awesome bloggers out there plan on attending, let me know!

And on the note of being nerdily into the interent... exciting news for today! A Date In The Life... is now has its own, independent, even more awesome domain name! I'll admit it. I get pretty excited about this stuff.



And of course.... Happy St. Patty's Day. Please have fun and be SAFE!




And yes, I really am.

In my usual fashion, I will be celebrating this joyous holiday on a date (drinking a few too many free green beer and Irish Carbombs) with a guy named Coors, a marketing professional from OKCupid who turns out to live about 200 feet from me. What are the chances? Eh. We'll see. Not to say there aren't people I'd rather be spending it with.

Crushing dreams, one frumpy unmarried cat lady at a time.

Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently

(OK)Cupid has perfected his aim

I'm not going to lie to you guys.... A great majority of the guys on OKCupid are just not... exactly my cup of tea. Not that there's anything wrong with them, and for whatever reason there are tons of exceptionally intelligent/well-spoken guys on there (or at least guys who can write well), and a few that aren't too bad to look at as well. There are a few I've exchanged some good emails with, and two that I exchange texts or instant messages with sometimes. But honestly, none have really captured my attention. (I'm starting to wonder if I'm just exceedingly picky [that's rhetorical, by the way]).

And granted, I am looking for somewhat of the perfect person (more on that another time, I was thinking maybe I could focus my energy on finding it better if I can narrow in down in print), but looking on the internet, at least according to my friends, is the last place I'll ever find it.

I'll have you know that I meet people everywhere, not just online. I'm not lacking social skills, I'm not introverted in the least bit, I'm not insecure, and I enjoy meeting people. Heck, I even like public speaking (The #2 fear in the United States, second only to burning to death... hard to believe) which a lot of times is what introducing yourself to a perfect stranger feels like.

Anyway, to make this long rant just a little bit shorter, I've succumbed to OKCupid's lure basically just because of the quizzes. I like that they "know" me to some degree, and I like getting personality awards on my profile (though I don't agree with "More Greedy"... assholes). Occasionally I like to search through my "matches" (really... if you could only see most of them) just to see if there's actually someone I can picture spending time around without laughing (at, not with).

WELL! Last night, another late night conversation with the ex (more on that another time, if I ever find out he isn't reading this anymore) kept me up way past my bedtime.. I'm talking like 3 in the morning. Searching through dozens of engineering students, Dungeons and Dragons fans, and mama's boys, I was about to give up and go to sleep finally when someone caught my eye.

First off, hot. Not that that's all that matters, but initially online.... give me a break. Read his profile.... 25, really smart, very well spoken, local, great job. Look at his additional pictures.... even cuter that I thought originally, fantastic smile, sexy build, two dogs. Plus we're an 80% match. Not bad at all.

At this point I'm literally sitting here at my desk, swooning. What a spectacle that would have been. I hit Send Message... I start typing, realize I sound like an idiot. Start over. Play it cool? Tell him he's adorable? Stroke his ego? Point out of common interests? Use big vocab?

I finally settle for a little bit of spice and a little bit of sugar and send it off into the universe. And then sit there, wondering if I've said the wrong thing. And then wonder how many girls must message him a day. And then check, and find that he is getting hundreds of profile views. And then come to terms with my message getting lost in a sea of unfortunate looking ex-colorguards with a taste for anime, and it really doesn't matter if I said the right thing or not because he's never going to read it.

So I put it out of my mind and go back to my conversation with the ex. Minutes later, I hear a bell indicating that I have an incoming IM on OKCupid. I look. It's him.... Let's call him Scott.

He asks if I'm really up that late also, I tell him yes, and he tells me he appreciates my email, that it was really sweet. (Sweet.... great.) Then he tells me I'm really cute myself (ooh!), and is really tired but can't wait to talk to me again (aww!). He asks me a few questions, clearly having read my whole profile, and is really funny and nice. So we say goodnight, and then I smile for like 20 nerdy minutes over having talked to some guy who's voice I haven't even heard yet.

Ugh! I'm such a dork!

I'm not much into clowns.

Finally starting to get over this damn cold (10 days? Really?) I decided to go out with this guy Dave, that found me on OkCupid, who's been hounding me all week for a "coffee" date or something. So cliche, no? Oh well.. not every guy can be blessed with a creative spirit, and he wasn't taking no for an answer, so when I finally got my voice back last night, I agreed to hang out tomorrow, aka this evening.

Not much in the mood for coffee, I redirected the date to the area of dinner - he suggested my very favorite restaurant Memphis (what a lucky guess!) and we met there. I'd seen some pictures of him and thought he was sort of cute; he turned out to be more attractive than I expected (always a nice surprise) and pretty tall. Boring haircut and outfit aside, he has big blue eyes and a charmingly vulnerable smile which gets me every time. We sat down at our table and started talking, and the more we talked the more I realized I hadn't the slightest clue what he did or who he was. The embarrassing part was that he had told me but I guess I've been talking to too many different guys because I have no recollection of the email exchange. Oops!

Anyway, apparently he's some big deal engineer for a local company that makes some really crazy new barcode system, and on the side he buys electronics, refurbishes, sells them, and makes a grip off the difference. Cute, smart, and entrepreneurial? Bring it on.

Though he was a math major in college (which he went to in Canada, where he's from) he actually had pretty impressive social skills, and I only ate a bit of my dinner (cornmeal crusted catfish and dirty rice.... pinch me) because our conversation was flowin' as smoothly as my martinis were going down. So far so good!

Once the bill was paid (which he took care of immediately... sexy) he told me he wasn't ready for the date to be over, I giggled, and he suggested one of my favorite late night spots down the street for a few drinks.

When we got there it was packed but we found a cozy table in the corner, and sat huddled together with our drinks, chatting. The more buzzed I got the more I realized that this date was actually going REALLY well.... like, I really like him! This never happens! We had a lot in common, he was totally interested in everything I had to say, and likewise, he's funny, he makes great eye contact (Girls and Boys: This is incredibly important if you want to come off as confident and comfortable, which you DO) and is super positive about life.

He asked me what my longest relationship was, I told him almost two years. He asked how long ago was that? I said about a year and a half ago. I asked when his last relationship was... his smile dropped and eyes darted away. Uh oh. He told me he didn't like to talk about it much. I pried.

"...10 years ago," he told me. I was buzzed but I did the math.... let's see... he's 28... "You haven't had a girlfriend since you were EIGHTEEN? WHY??"

He went on to tell me that he just couldn't figure it out. He'd meet girls, invite them out, sometimes they would say yes, they'd have at least an ok time, and they'd never hang out again. My crazy-dude radar started to beep annoyingly.

I pressed snooze.

I thought it sounded like a good idea to head back to his townhouse (which he owns, cool) to watch Flight of the Conchords, because nothing beats my two favorite New Zealanders. So funny. So sexy.

He changed into his pajamas and we got onto his bed. Ok, wait. Before I start, you have to visualize the layout of the situation.

Basically, we're laying on his bed, watching tv. During a commercial, he looks over and me with this really cute vulnerable look in his eye, and goes in for a kiss. He's a great kisser! I'm excited! We're kissing, we're happy, we're totally vibing on each other.

The show comes back on and I pull away and get back to watching... always playing the interested and then slightly-disinterested and then interested again card, works every time. (If you haven't read the Art of Seduction yet, DO.)

Except, ALAS! Our three minute makeout sesh has proved QUITE the turn-on for Dave, who is now sporting a more impressive tent than the Ringling Bros "Best Show on Earth," or whatever.... I'm not much into circuses anyway.

(More epic than this)

As you can see from my diagram, said tent-poppage is in my DIRECT line of vision, and seeing as he clearly hadn't taken any notice of the fact that I had noticed, I felt even more awkward. So here I am, laying there, and trying to look ANYWHERE but the TV. I check my phone. I send a text message. I ask him about the photography on the wall.

(Sidenote: Don't get me wrong, people. Being a girl in her early 20's with the libido of a bunny, I have no problem with boner. In fact, I like boner. I'm flattered by boner. Boner means fun things are to come. It means progress. It means we're in business. All fun aside, though, I'm still an old-fashioned girl and this was just not the appropriate time for boner. It was clear to both of us.)

(Sidenote #2: The good news is he's clearly packing some serious heat... there wasn't much left to the imagination.)

After the longest 45 seconds of my life, I heard him gasp and roll over uncomfortably, rigid with embarrassment. Maybe the track pants were a poor choice, my friend. "Do you want something to drink??" He jumps up and crosses awkwardly diagonally in front of the bed towards the fridge as to not display his obscene profile. Upon arriving at said fridge, he opens it and stands in it. "Is it hot in here?! It feels hot. Are you hot??"

I accepted a Vitamin Water and we layed there watching Flight of the Conchords and probably both wishing we could sink into the bed and disappear. Eventually after it wore off (which took literally like... 10 minutes. You would think the embarrassment/shame that was written all over his face would help calm things down? Guess not) I yawned and said I better go. He walked me out and gave me a less warm/comfortable hug than he welcomed me with.


I can't imagine what a second date would be like, but I can definitely say that he better not wear pajama pants next time. I wonder if this happens with all the other girls?

... Such is life.

Could it be... speed dating in bed?

So as you know by now, I love dating. And as some of you may know, I also enjoy lounging around at home on my computer. A good handful of you have read my speed dating post.... but speed dating proved to be fruitless, and let's be honest... was sort of a huge waste of time and makeup and hangover and my sparkling personality.

Alas! I have found the solution to this dilemma:

ONLINE SPEED DATING.

I know. I was surprised too. How does it work, you ask??

When you sign up, you provide a username, a picture, your location, age... a few other details. Depending on the website, you can either start "speed dating" the other people who are online at the time, or you are emailed about "events" that they throw, where everyone is invited on at one time.

You also tell them your preferences based on location and age, and they start matching you up with people they think would be suitable.

So OBVI I signed up, stat. I was instantly matched with 8 different guys, each one of which I had the opportunity to spend a timed 3-minute videochat session with. Shockingly enough, there were 4 guys that were VERY cute, funny, nice, and live in the same state (ok I know a 7 hour distance is a stretch... but let's cut this thing a little slack).

Unfortunately for me, I can't find the disk that goes with my webcam (thanks again, Ben.... more about him some other time), so I can't get it to work... but the website allows you to have an instant message conversation at the same time, so it posted my picture and I was able to see them typing to me.

Yes... it was a little weird. I'm not going to lie. But it was also extremely entertaining and kind of exciting. The other good news is that you can immediately dismiss someone if you don't like them based on "no chemistry" or "not my type," to name a few. At the end of the three minutes the system cuts off your session and asks you for a YES or a NO vote. If you both vote YES, you are able to contact each other... if either one says NO, you never see or hear from them again.

Genius!

I'm not the only one to find out about this, though. I originally heard of the idea from Facebook, where WooMe had a paid advertisement. I signed up for that site and was notified days later that I was selected for their beta testing group, or something. I guess its not totally up and running yet. To be honest I wasn't totally thrilled about having to return to the site at different times to be able to speed date (again, I like the convenience of being able to sit at my dining room table whenever) so I haven't really looked at it since.

Being totally intrigued by the idea, though, I googled online speed dating and found a great article written on the New York Times website about the boom in online speed dating websites... apparently this is kind of a big deal.

Read: Does This Webcam Make Me Look Fat?

After finding all kinds of websites for this stuff (hurrydate, speeddate, woome, digg, 15minutedate, YesNoMaybe, and speeddater, just to name a few), I settled on SpeedDate.com which I have tried a couple times.

Though admittedly there have been a few winners (4, to be exact), a majority of my "matches" have been... well... jokes. To be honest with you, readers, most of the satisfaction comes from having a little fun with the absolutely worst daters.

Example:

Me: What do you do
Him: I work at Safeway as a meat clerk
Me: that's hot
Me: I like a guy who knows how to handle his meat
Him: really?
Me: oh yeah

The worse the date, the more I try to either inflate his ego or inspire inappropriate thoughts. Another one was the dweebiest looking dude in a completely ill-fitting Sears suit, standing in front of a cheesy background uncomfortably.... looked like he had his portraits taken at the mall. (So sorry... wish I had saved the picture for you.)

Me: Wow! You're a model??
Him: No.. I'm a performer. :)
Me: Oh cool! I've never met a male stripper before!
Him: haha no no I'm a pianist.
Me: Oh... well close.
Him: haha. what are you into?
Me: whips
Me: you?
Him: i'm into online stock training
Him: whoa! its too bad a pretty girl like you doesnt live out here in ND!

You get the picture.

All in all.... this website kicks ass.

If you do decide to visit it, PROMISE ME you'll watch the little example videos on the main welcome page..... they would lead any normal person to believe that what they are about to encounter is more scripted, forced, and awkward that it actually is or could ever be.



One more thing.
Let's be honest with ourselves, SpeedDate.com. We aren't so "busy" that all we have time for is a 3 minute date and a granola bar on our lunch break. We just like the naughty anonymity we feel when we watch other people's webcams.