Thursday, June 19, 2008

DTR, Part 2 (+3+4+5)

I know, I know... I'm such a lagger.


Mason had gotten back on Sunday, so Monday we decided to have sushi and beers. He picked me up again (and yes, as he said I normally don't like to have a guy pick me up the first time if I don't know him well; never know when he's going to turn out to be a creepfest.... but once I know he's not, I love it when he picks me up), and we went over to the sushi place that has specials on Mondays. We sat at the sushi bar and had a really good conversation. He even remembered that I was getting a new job; impressive.

He told me about this underground society of pick-up artists he's been reading about (a la that show on VH1), and how there are all these message boards stuff, and said he'd show me some of the videos he found. He was talking about how boring work had been, and I asked why he hadn't written his blog about our first date. He insisted that he did, although I'd checked and it said there weren't any new posts. He whipped out his phone and went to his site; and sure enough, there was a new one. Except that he wouldn't let me read it! Imagine this: you're on a second date with a guy, and you've just found out there is a whole story written by him about what it was like to go on a date with you, and you can't see it. Torture!

Finally he let me read it; I thought it was pretty cute. It's funny to read the point of view of someone you've been on a date with... there are details and opinions that normally you wouldn't know if it was just a regular situation. So we finish reading it and we're laughing, and then it occurs to me... he likes me! Every time he looks at me, I'm thinking "you liiiike me," and I'm smiling to myself for the rest of the dinner; he keeps asking me what I'm smiling about. He'd made some comment about being able to read minds, so I told him he should put it to use, but he said he couldn't use it on command. Ha.

We finished dinner (he payed... "since it was happy hour") and ended up going back to hang out at his house (GASP! I know. That breaks every rule in my book. And I told him that too! But I wasn't worried that he might turn into this.) We hung out and talked and he showed me some videos of pick-up artists at work, and a book he loves called The Art of Deception. (Should I start taking these things as a bad sign?) After hanging out for awhile we agreed it was late, and he walked me out, said goodbye, and went inside. Note: Second official date, no kiss. Not a big deal... just saying.


We were texting each other, and I told him about my plans to go to the Taco Tuesday we both frequent. He told me he really wanted to go but wasn't sure if his friends did. This continued, even once I was there already with my friends (all of which, as it occured to me later, I have through Erwin, though he wasn't there.) Eventually he talked one of his friends into going with him, and he came and found my friends and I at our table without his own. (I realized the next day that it could have potentially been an uncomfortable situation to introduce a new guy to a group of my ex's friends, though it didn't seem to be, and I got the impression that they liked him.)

He hung out with us for awhile 'til 4/6 of us had to leave, and my remaining friend and him got up to get drinks. From there, we hung out at the bar, talking to people we ran into that we knew (one of mine was Ryan M, a guy I dated awhile ago, which was super awkward... I'll save that story for another time though) and flirting with each other. He spent a good portion of the evening telling me how adorable I am (reminicent of our first meeting). I'd told him I would give him a ride home, since the friend he came with wouldn't be able to. After awhile we decided to leave and we went to Denny's (he paid again, since I "only got french fries") before going back to his house. On the drive he told me that though he doesn't tell me how cute I am when he's sober, he's still thinking it. I asked him why, since he claims to be very outspoken, and he said that as cocky as he may come off, he's still "scared shitless" to tell a girl he likes her if he doesn't know she likes him.

We hung out for awhile talking on his bed 'til he finally made a move to kiss me. I made a joke about it, but let him, and we made out for awhile. (And yes, he is a good kisser. I know you were going to ask.) It started to trip me out a little bit because it was exactly like my dream*(more on this another time, promise), but it was fun, and eventually he walked me out because we were both exhausted.


I got an email from this PR girl I know who's a big deal in the music industry that said she had two tickets for me for one of my top 3 most favorite bands, Rilo Kiley. The show started at 7 so I only had a few hours to find someone to go with. Initially I thought of Mason Stanley, since we'd been talking about them and he had never heard of them before (which I, of course, promised to change). But realizing that we'd already spent the last two nights together, I reasoned that it was better to figure something else out. I texted a few people and they were busy or out of town. So I texted him and asked him if a round-about way if he'd want to go. He said he did and didn't seem phased by the three consecutive days.

I rushed home after work and he came to my house while I changed, and we left; I drove this time. He made fun of me for listening to the Christian radio station. We talked a lot in the car, or at least he did. I don't know if I was being far less interesting than I normally am, but it seemed like he wasn't as interested in what I had to say as he has been on the first two dates. We got there in perfect timing to park on the hill in $15 stacked parking (I paid), get our tickets from will-call, get some drinks (which he paid for, since he "can write them off on the company card"), find our seats, and have a few minutes before RK came on.

The show was great. It wasn't his favorite kind of music, and he felt really out of his element, but he seemed to have a good time. We wanted to do something after in LA but couldn't think of anything or anyone that would have something going on, so we decided to get food and I picked a Thai place I like called Toi Thai. He'd never had thai food before (oh, the shame) but was up for it. I think he was surprised at how loud the music was and how many people were there at midnight on a Wednesday. Neither of us had much to say and we sat and texted other people (we were those people) until our food got there. It seemed like he liked it. We didn't talk much, maybe out of tiredness, though he made a few future-plan comments about how he wants to take me to one of his concerts next, and how he can't wait 'til I start hanging out with his friends. The bill came and neither of us made a move for it for a few minutes, so I paid it.

We opened our fortune cookies (my favorite thing).

Mine: "An admirer is concealing their affection for you."

His: "A big challenge lies ahead of you."

We laughed about them. They both seemed fitting. He slipped his into his watch, I put mine in my purse. We agreed we like to keep the good ones.

We drove home, both super tired. We talked about shows he gets tickets to that he hasn't seen; namely Wicked, which is one of my favorite musicals and I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN IT. Yes, I know all the words. I proceeded, both out of feeling comfortable around him and being deliriously tired, to pop in the soundtrack and animatedly sing him the songs. Not sure if this was amusing, annoying, or embarrassing, but either way I thought it was funny.

We got to my house after what seemed like 3 hours and said goodbye with a hug. I had thought he would kiss me... for the first time that night (maybe I'm mistaken, but when you start seeing someone, and after your first kiss, doesn't that normally become part of the equation? Just checking.) but he didn't, and said something about trying to make it awkward. I told him it couldn't have been more awkward than the first time on the doorstep. He told me that he "learned a lot tonight." I figured he was referring to the indie music scene and thai food. We said goodnight and I went in and went to bed.


We didn't talk today, aside from a couple text messages after work.

So all in all, I've been having a good time with him. The first few dates seemed to go progressively well, but for some reason the last one gave me the impression we're headed towards friend-territory at a fast clip. I may be wrong, I don't know. I thought we were getting along really well at first, but on Wednesday it seemed like we weren't really getting each other or connecting.

Plus, and please feel free to let me know if I'm way off base, I thought it was weird that we didn't kiss or anything (not hello or goodbye even, no touching, nothing) at all. It didn't even bother me so much, but just makes it seem like it's not moving in that direction. Not sure if it's because it's not there, or if neither of us is bold enough.

Guess we'll see. (Especially after we read his rendition of the story.... if he ever writes it... Ahem.)

On a side note, if you've read any of the posts I've written about who pays, (yep, all 15 of 'em!) you know that this is a very big, important topic to me. And if you've read his blog, you know it's big to him too. I do really appreciate the times he's picked up the check, and I always say thank you. But I find it weird that with every "thank you" comes an explanation of why he's paying it; because what I ordered was cheap, because our bill was half-priced, because he can write it off, etc. It makes me wonder, if those things weren't the case, would I have to pay for it? Am I not worth a full-priced dinner? Just saying.

11 people had something to say:

Simon said...

Seriously, what's the deal with the obsession about who pays. Unless you're prostituting yourself, just split everything down the middle. That is the most fair and reasonable way to do it. You act like he is paying for the pleasure of your company with the cost of food. What about the guy's time? Maybe you should be paying for his company. Just because you have a vagina, it doesn't make you more valuable.

meg said...

This is odd. For sure kissing comes as a natural end or beginning of a date after the first kiss has already happened.

Also - the commenting on 'why' he's paying is SUPER lame.

I think you should let this one go.

Laurel said...

I've been a fan of this blog for a while. The entries have been entertaining, well written, and thought-provoking.

This has changed since the posts have focused on dates with Mason Stanley. Of course they can't be as sharp: you're censoring the blog since you know "Mason" will be reading it. Now, admittedly, I was excited about the ability to read an account of a date from both points of view. It's not as much fun when you censor your usually sharp wit and insights.

Please go back to the usual blog!

Lyla Lou said...

Ahhhhh, why do I not have enough time to read all your posts right now?? I love it!

And because I am way too bold, I would have just gone for the kiss. I've dated a few shy ones that needed didn't get the vibe, or were confused, didn't know if i was into it, so I just go for it. It if works it works.

Ok, maybe not all the time, I can be shy too.

overthelaw said...

He sounds like a nice guy, although I've never read his blog, but...for reals, never had thai food? I think that would be a deal breaker for me.

The Girl in the Mirror said...

Simon: Have you not been paying attention? I pay half the time. If you're gonna try to rake me over the coals, at least have a good reason.

Meg: I know, right? Interesting how he didn't respond to either of those things in his post... haha

Laurel: I know, I know. It's tough. There are things I want to say but I'm also trying not to be TOO blunt. Who knows? If things don't work out, I promise you I'll go back and edit the post with the things I'm putting lightly. If they do work out, then I'll be thankful I didn't. Ha!

Simon said...

Regarding your comment to Laurel: You shouldn't edit yourself. Communication is the key to every relationship. Hiding what your true feelings are now will assure it won't work out in the end.

The Girl in the Mirror said...

Simon: I appreciate your concern, and I have shared my real feelings, minus the ascerbic wit.

Redhead said...

I think he has some hang ups money and making moves on girls!

Cara said...

"Unless you're prostituting yourself, just split everything down the middle" - Simon.

I concur.

Henrietta Hussy said...

anyone who is in their 20's and hasn't eaten thai food is probably a freak. That should be your first sign of dating a weirdo.

jk, but seriously, it's delicious


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