Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Diamonds and Devotion

It occured to me this morning as I was getting dressed what month it is. And more importantly, what month in what year it is.

June 2008.

It might not be that significant to you. And I didn't even realize it was significant to me either, 'til something reminded me of The Ex.

Had we done things according to the plans we had made (and talked about constantly), we would have been getting married this month. MARRIED.

I know, right? Wow. It's almost unbelievable to me. Honestly, I can hardly even remember what it was like to be with him, it seems so long ago. I remember similarly, it hit me last June that we would have been getting engaged at that time, but since then I guess I had just put it out of my mind. It really snuck up on me.

But I went off to work (on my day off, mind you) for a class, knowing that at least concentrating on something else would temporarily distract my mind from it.

So there I am, in our back room learning all kinds of new things about our haircolor line, when in walks one of the girls I work with, sporting a brand new sparkling rock on her left ring finger. I tell myself I'm hallucinating and turn my attention back to the lecture.

Another one of the girls I work with (engaged), walks back to mix color and sees the ring, and they start talking excitedly about diamonds and fiances and wedding plans, and now I'm starting to feel a little lightheaded. I focus again on the class.

Another girl I work with walks back (also engaged) and gives her a big congratulatory hug. Now everyone is giggling and hugging. My eyes are stinging with tears and my stomach is imitating the washing machine churning beside me. I don't even notice that 10 minutes has gone by when I realize I haven't heard anything our educator is talking about, but I'm nodding along with the information.

So now, I am one of two un-engaged (or un-married) girls at my work, and the other girl has a serious boyfriend. Literally, I kid you not. There are 6 engaged girls! I am surrounded daily by diamonds and devotion. Where's mine?

And this, of course, all comes fairly soon after a break-up with Erwin; someone who I thought was sort of downright amazing. I wish he hadn't said all the things he said if he didn't mean them.

And on the subject of weddings, remind me to tell you all about my opinion on the Sex And The City movie. Cute movie! TERRIFYING PREMISE.

Note: I'm not upset anymore about not marrying The Ex, as I've realized over the course of the past few years that it's definitely for the best. But I'm starting to feel a little left behind, knowing that that could have been me too.

10 people had something to say:

Simon said...

Yeah, you go girl!

Simon said...

And you're way to good for those guys anyways, girlfriend. You will like totally find some amazingly hot oil barron, model, astrophysicistian, actor, politician that totally is just madly in love with you but you could do with or without and he will like give you foot rubs everyday and stuff.

Alex said...

Take a look at There are lot of useful information and ideas on how to prepare a wedding. I think that you will find it interesting.

Henrietta Hussy said...

tell me about it...

I'm going to a friend's wedding this weekend. Fucking weird!

But it's their loss... missing out on being single that is...I LOVE being single and independent.

Those are two things to me, that I think are closely related

Cara said...

"you're way to good for those guys anyways, girlfriend. You will like totally find some amazingly hot oil barron, model, astrophysicistian, actor, politician that totally is just madly in love with you"

Simon, stop deluding her.

Athena said...

June 2nd would have been my second wedding anniversary. It didn't happen either. All of my friends have that boyfriend, that fiance, that husband. Of my sorority sisters, EIGHTEEN are getting married this summer. And while I don't date with that path in mind for the moment, it is awkward, you feel like the odd person out a bit.
You're not. You'll get to know yourself better than many people have the chance to, and that is a cause of confidence and celebration, really.

Ariel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lyla Lou said...

le sigh. I loved this post. I know just how you feel, going through this same kinda stuff myself!

LadyShay said...

Wow, that hit me personally. I found your blog through Ms. Puddin. Glad I did, I will def be back!

Me said...

THAT SUCKS. I empathize. I have one ex who just got married, and other who is engaged to be. I am happy (in a way) for both, but it still hurts that they are obviously so happy, and I am still searching.


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