Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Check, Please!

Although I've had more than my fair share of dating experience at my tender age of 23, and may shell out a generous amount of wisdom and advice to my friends who may have a little less, I seek at least twice as much from other sources (can't learn EVERTHING from personal experience, you know).

So I've read lots of books. My favorites so far have been the Art of Seduction (thank you very much to Spencer for that spirited recommendation) and Superflirt (which is really just a thanks to Amazon, who suggested it when I was searching for the former, good work people).

And although I learned a great deal about the world of dating (and how to have anyone wrapped around your finger, by ignoring them and swinging your hips correctly, respectively), I still continue to feel that there is just oodles I don't know yet.

Which brings me to my new book. Hopefully you know by now that some of my favorite things are dating, talking about dating, thinking about dating, boys in general, and celebrity gossip. Now combine that all in a book written by the world's first supermodel, and we're in business.

Check, Please! Dating, Mating, and Extricating is written by the infamous Janice Dickinson, who has dated more celebrities than Paris Hilton (give the heiress some credit though, Janice has got a lot of years on her) and is filled with acerbic wit and tough love, plus TMI about way too many male celebrities.
I haven't finished yet, but so far, Janice has taught me that:

I'm an idiot for "going for my wallet" on a first date.

If a woman breaks out her wallet, she has a problem. Even for the 50/50 split. On a first date, I don't ever want you to say, "What's my share?" He brought the wallet. You brought the girl. Even trade.

I should stop meeting guys on the Internet.
You know how they used to say of ugly actors, "He has a face for radio?" Well, if a guy's out there hunting for women online, chances are he has a face and personality for the Web. Plus, some of those weirdos really could be hunting for women. And remember this: If the camera adds 10 pounds, the Web adds 40.

There are ideal places to meet guys (some of these I haven't even tried! Thanks Janice).
  • Park Benches (not bums... the rich one's own the parks, not live in them)
  • Men's Clothing Stores (ie: Turnbull & Asser, the nicer the better obvi)
  • Bike Paths
  • The Car Wash
  • Dog Parks (at least you know the men can handle the responsibility of nurturing and interacting with living things.... and are used to dealing with some crap)
  • The Gym
  • The Bank (only the main branch of one of the most exclusive banks, as approved by Forbes)
  • Delicatessens in Wealthy Neighborhoods (Janice is obsessed with Jewish men, more on that in a second)
  • The Golf Course on Weekdays (only two types of men can golf on weekdays - rich men and retired men, who are often rich men too. And according to Janice, one of the three requirements of a perfect man is a flexible schedule [the other two being slim hips and a trust fund])
  • Car Dealerships (of course, luxury car dealerships. This is Janice Dickinson we're learning from)

Jewish Men are God's Gift.
They make the absolute best husbands -- because they're loyal and because they have the largest units. Jewish men are used to women running things. [They] are also used to women taking charge of the household finances, so you'll control the purse strings -- which are always strings I want to control. They're also less likely to divorce you. They would rather put up with more of your crap than give you the keys to the second BMW and the vacation house in Boca.

All in all, I think Janice might be slightly out of her mind, a little too stereotypical, and overly impressed by a huge bank account... but her book is fun to read and there's no reason why an avid Dating Diva like myself can't try out a few of her theories.

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